Is it normal to have an object that can cure sexually and emotionally the loneliness? Calling a form of affection that doesn’t involve another human being, the tenderness that is poured like water into a bottomless container. An emotion that is always beating among us, something that a person keeps as potential energy that is left into something inanimate, in this case let’s put the figure of a teddy bear, something that exists since childhood, that represents the harmless: a toy, a trustable doll to sleep babies, the object that guards and accompanies them when parents are absent due to sleeping or working.
The fact that is always in bed, guarding the person is a gesture of protection, of safety, an object that’s attached to the deepest part of the being, that sense of belonging, what doesn’t leave, the thing that stays with us till the light fades away. It’s not about perceiving it as a friend, since it doesn’t give any physical responses: it doesn’t talk, it doesn’t walk, it doesn’t cry, the plush is not human, is simply something that protects you and must be by your side. You should know that “a plushie never says ‘No!’ when you crave closeness (…) No plush partner will ever break your heart, give you a disease or hurt you in any way” (From alt.sex.plushies - http://www.velocity.net/~galen/asp-faq.txt )
Being something that we observe in a cute manner when the companion is a baby or a toddler, it tends to be something different when it comes to an adult person. Not abandoning the plush toy may mean that there is a grapple to the past, holding on to something that is not to be left behind, there is a present fear that needs to be channeled through the plush. This can be a matter of insecurity, trusting that the strengths needs to create an image of companionship so that loneliness isn’t assimilated, to create something that has an unique meaning and unable to be shared, distancing from the rest. This complex is embraced to feel plenitude and the sensation that everything is alright.
The love that’s withheld through insensitive fibers. Some stories are woven and they find shelter in what’s not understood, in the strange behavior that seeks to respond to an act of pain that is hidden behind a small soft object, it allows to see more than repressed desires, which are often mistaken with zoophilia and even asexual affectivity. (Asexual affectivity refers to people that have no interest whatsoever in manifesting love, or any romantic and sexual interest for another person). Plushophilia is a sexual and psychological attraction towards stuffed animals, which allows the satisfaction of the individual, emotionally and physically.
Whenever it’s discussed this paraphilia in an adult, till which limit is draw the line to innocence been kept -or the concept of love- in a bed that is invaded by the fluff that rests there every night? The warmth is granted to a stuffed animal to love, to drain, keeping oneself undivided while making a loop towards the beginning of life, the return flight back through darkness. The chronological age confronts the inner age, the one that the person feels that they have and shapes the values that one wishes to maintain: the reflection of an image that’s wanted to be projected and how is perceived in the interaction with others. That’s when it’s decided to put the teddy bear in the bed and keep it as a secret, only someone important enough will be worthy enough of an introduction, the teddy bear becomes more than an item, it’s something personal as any other paraphilia that ends up being a taboo for society.
The sexual awakening of a teenager is maybe one of the most intimate stages that a person can go through. The masturbation that’s done in bed, without any witnesses except for the accomplice with button eyes, become dark and perfect small universes on their own that observe without emitting any opinion, they don’t judge, absolute pupils that suck information in. During this stage is where the first romantic break-ups happen, those that are dealt in loneliness in bed during the night, where the hug of a teddy bear becomes comforting, tears run down and the plush becomes salty. The relationship that is kept in constant growth, reinforces its existence and endurances the dependency of the brown fellow, that, depending on the case, may become obsessive (such as not sleeping well or feeling bad due to the absence of the stuffed animal).
It shouldn’t be overrated that the nexus of the union, the waiting and the encounters will be in the bed. An object that tends to relate directly to sex, to the discovery of the gonads, to the sexual awakenings, to the solitude of bachelorship and the companionship of the partner. Don’t we take care of what is placed or not on top of our beds and under the covers? The plushies are served, protected and even worshipped in occasions. At the end, its had like a normal relationship and each person treats their partner how they believe is convenient and the union of companionship and satisfaction takes place in the night, under the covers, when there is no one else except for that teddy bear that has been awaiting for the arrival.
The teddy bear is an article that renovates its validity. The warmth that is braided with something that becomes a part of us, part of a routine and privacy, they are by themselves the final element that, in conjunction with the symbolism of the bed, aids in the process of learning how to share the bed with something always adaptable to the individual, the shapeable silhouette that accompanies but doesn’t protest. The person must understand that when having a relationship with another person, the customs are different, the sleep/walking up behavior is an experience that rests, breathes and moves, crushing the fibers of childhood. The human figure sleeps over the spot of the animal plush, even though some relationships may give a space for it.
The intimate connection is something that penetrates the person, that pierces them like a needle into fabric, or even like an attached pair of genitals. The feeling stays inserted and develops from it; the separation is unthinkable, the union without lively sex and the birth of sexuality, the witness that doesn’t breathe and the guilty one that exhales and groans; the atonement of the sin and the in situ confession; the tears and the brown tissue that remains as evidence and eternal reminder. The teddy bear is kept as a lock that safe-keeps our life, the shelter figure is emulated and the bear ends up being the void that fills us.
Osmar Peña ’13
(Lamento no publicar la versión en español, sufrió varios cambios al ser editada en inglés y por cuestiones de tiempo aún no he podido reacomodarlo, para no abandonar el blog publico mientras esta que también está disponible en sexmind.com)